A dying husband, imminent twins

Mya and LucianoMya is the only friend on my Facebook list whose marital status is listed as “widowed.” She was actually my sister’s friend in high school, but we always got along.

So it was nice to see her online, even though she was in the midst of a horrifying ordeal. Her husband  Luciano was dying of cancer, and wouldn’t live to see her give birth to their twin boys.

When did you meet?
We met in 2002 and he was diagnosed in 2004 while we were dating. We married in 2007. He was sick long before we decided to get pregnant. It was a choice.

What was that like to deal with? 
His illness was absolutely horrible. I watched him die a very long and slow death. Cancer took his body, and mind bit by bit. I have never in my life seen such suffering. At the same time, it just kept bringing us closer together. I did everything for him, I was his main caretaker. It was hard, the hardest thing I have ever had to do. But I loved him and there is nothing you wouldn’t do for the person you love. For him, he was robbed of so much and it killed him deep inside. But he refused to give up, refused to give in. He fought till the very end, never giving up hope that he could beat it. He laughed and smiled through his immense suffering.

Twins.

When he died, was there any comfort in being pregnant?
It was both easier and harder all at once. It was easier because there was no way for me to self destruct. I had a reason to get up every morning, and so much to be hopeful for in the future. I had life growing inside of me, and they were a part of him, a part he left behind. It was harder because I could not self destruct… I would have loved to go out and get drunk or get on a plane and leave for a bit. It was such a hard 2 years, where I literally gave up my entire life for him. All I did was take care of him and I stopped living. It was hard because I would meet other women who were pregnant and they would mention their husbands. It was hard because when people found out I was a widow and pregnant, their mouths would drop open and they would look at me with such pity. It was hard because I was pregnant and living alone, with nobody to take care of me. 

Where do you find the strength to put that aside and take care of two babies?
You simply find it. I love my sons more then anything else in the world. They make me happy and taking care of them is a pleasure and a joy. Taking care of two infants on my own is so much easier then taking care of a dying husband. This is work, it’s hard but it is so rewarding. My days are filled with laughter instead of tears. I get a second chance to really live again, and even to play! The only thing that is hard about the entire situation is being lonely, missing him. Wishing he could be here to watch them grow. I wonder what it feels like to watch your spouse hold the child you created together out of love. I can only imagine how wonderful that must be.

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5 responses to “A dying husband, imminent twins

  1. Joanne Thompson

    You are the most courageous woman I know – it is so nice to see you smiling and loving those boys.
    I love you little cousin 🙂
    xxx

  2. Mya, you are such an inspiration to so many. You are the strongest woman I have ever met, and you have such a peaceful disposition that makes people drawn to you. You are simply amazing and I consider myself very lucky to have a friend like you!
    Love you Mya!
    xoxo
    Sherri

  3. Marcella Ladurantaye

    Mya is an amazing young woman in spite of going to hell and back. These are such lucky babies brought into this world with such love and devotion. I believe that their father is with them still and always. This is such an amazing love story that will inspire us forever.

  4. Pingback: Human Facebook, featuring me | The Human Facebook Project

  5. Touching interview….Amazing woman. Mya is the definition of a hero and a woman of strength.

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